42 days later (ankle / foot recovery)

 

42 days post-surgery. Crutches and shower stools and scars and swelling. A house I never lived in but somehow own went on the market, got oh so many offers, and hopefully closes on Thursday. A too-soon return to work (leading to a chest cold and exhaustion) and an immediate organizational change and so much stress and feelings. 3 dance competitions that involved a knee scooter, a wheelchair, hotels. tears of joy and sadness from Lil Momma, and way too much takeout. A cold and a pinched sciatic nerve.

I thought I'd write more during this time, but I've been stuck. Stuck in a chair, stuck in my head, stuck in this moment. This is a big week: follow-up at the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow where I hopefully get cleared for the next part of this and then  start PT and close on my aunt's house on the same day later in the week. 

I'm taking both of those happening on the same day as a sign from the Universe that it's time to start moving on and into what is next. 

Wow, that got heavy. It hasn't all been like that. Lil Momma steals my phone when I'm pulling myself up the stairs and takes ridiculous selfies. The Mr has been an all-around hero and is using that moniker to tell as many awful jokes as he wants. Bella (our senior population dog) jumps into my recliner every time I crutch my way to the bathroom and looks at me witheringly when I return. There's been library holds that make my day, too many YouTube videos watched, and getting my hair done.

With that being said, here are a handful of things that I've learned over my 6 weeks of non-weight-bearing that I hope to carry with me:

Sleep is non-negotiable. This probably should have been more obvious as a woman at my age, but it really landed for me during this experience. I am a mess when I don't get enough sleep during my best times (well, are they really my best times if I'm not sleeping?!), but when I didn't get enough sleep while healing, everything became impossible. My lowest points, my teariest days, my days when I did not make the best choices can all be tied to the nights when I didn't sleep. Part of this was post-surgery insomnia, part was how it is really hard to position oneself with a banged up ankle and foot on one side and a pinched nerve on the other, but the rest really is crappy sleep hygiene and keeping myself up, which leads into the next lesson....

Doomscrolling is the worst. My eternal struggle, it seems. Honestly, my screen time did not go wildly up during these 6 weeks. However, I did have to sit with (pun intended, btw) the fact that I scroll to numb myself, which is not something I'm proud of. I've been taking a month-long class on Alzheimer's prevention, nutrition, and sustainability and one quote that's stuck with me is "give your body what it needs first, then. give it what it wants". I think my priorities over the last handful of years have been caretaking and surviving (hence the numbing) and I'm so ready to change that - and that feels great.

Little hellos make a big difference. I've felt very along these past six weeks. It crossed some of the busiest weeks of the parenting year for our friends, our house is a mess so visitors weren't really a thing, no one I know has really gone through this, I was being very non-communicative for a bit (understandably)... AND, I have wonderful friends who came over into my mess, pushed me around dance competitions, texted me exactly when I needed it (we all need an Anne in our lives), sent me a postcard from a blogger meetup that I now use as my main bookmark because it makes me feel so happy when I see it, and commented on my blog posts even when I couldn't get my head around reading or commenting back. If I've learned anything, it's to reach out and connect more. It's totally worth it and might make a difference to someone.

I was going to try and end this with a lesson on balance, but I don't think I've quite earned that in any way, haha! Seriously, I'm just so grateful I've only tipped once on these crutches and it was into a wall so only my elbow got scratched - there's some scary Reddit threads about falling while non-weight-beariing, yikes. More to come on what's next and what I've been reading and life and all that. Take care, friends!