not necessarily in this order

It’s a little less than a week until my foot/ankle surgery. I feel like I’ve lost the thread between all my lists and what needs to be done before this happens and what is feasible to get done before all this happens. Between trying to land cleaning out my aunt’s house that’s 90 minutes away  and getting it on the market by the end of the month - and doing her taxes - and getting all of LM’s spring and summer clothes and dance competition stuff prepared and this wild season at work with everything going on and with everything literally going on all the time, I feel like I’m all over the place (as is this too apt run on sentence, haha). Yard statues have been rescued! Here are some hot takes on where I’m at:   Pros : I have a recliner to sleep/recover in  I have a wedge pillow to elevate my foot (and it fits on said recliner!) I have a knee scooter (with a bell) (and a personalized license plate haha) I got my aunt’s taxes done on time  I’ll have time to go back in ev...

  “Playing  Disco Elysium  I’ve been thinking more and more about who I am, or the pieces and parts that combine into what I and others think of me. The protagonist screams, “I DON’T WANT TO BE THIS KIND OF ANIMAL“ which begs the question of the player: What kind of animal are you?” From “This Kind of Animal” by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah in Critical Hits: Writers Playing Video Games   I’ve have a bit of a swirly week. I got a thought in my head about a possible medical diagnosis over the weekend. Actually, Dr. Google got a thought in my head about a possible medical diagnosis over the weekend. (Mind you, I’ve since been to the doctor and l, big surprise, am not afflicted with said diagnosis. I believe the doctor’s reaction was “Why would you go THERE?!?”) I spent the whole week thinking about how I would have to change my life - literally how I approach everything - to deal with this diagnosis.   What I do when I wake up, what I eat, how I spend my time, how I mo...

A quick look at how my February hopes figured out and what I’m hoping to do in March!   February Figures : Working out / intentional movement at least 15 days  =  15/15!!! I had this whole realization that I am a happier person when I move my body, but when I am down (which makes sense right now), I may have to just do the things even when I’m not feeling like it. Which, shockingly (or not really shockingly, haha), made a huge difference during a really wild work month. Average 5K steps per day  =  5 , 002 WOOHOO! I finally made it! I am sure my return to the office a few days a week pushed me over, but I have also been trying to move more through my days.  Average less than 8 hours of phone screen time per day  =  still too much I am trying to give myself grace in that I’ve been navigating a lot of big feelings and bad weather, but hope to make some movement in this space in March with a better approach to my usual doomscrolling moments  Sti...

Back in August, when Luke and I planned this long weekend away in Florida, we didn’t know how messy the last month would be. We’ve been used to drama and canceled plans, but our goal was to go make some memories with Lil Momma and have a break from the constant churn of sadness that’s been following us.  This was a surprise for LM, which gave us some grace when we almost canceled 2 weeks ago and again on Sunday. But, where I’ve landed (plane pun, haha) is where I’ve often found myself lately: 2 things can be true at once. We can be sad AND run away to Universal Studios. We can be navigating what’s next AND make some memories right now.  It all feels wild and adventurous - and I kind of love it. Here’s to a weekend away and finding some fun!   

Here’s the thing : You do a challenge in a wildly busy month where you plan to cut your screentime ( aka your doomscrolling distraction ) by a significant amount because you spend a significant amount of time on your smartphone.   What you expected :  For it to be  hard , of course. Distraction habits run deep and there’s a reason it’s so engrained in your life.  But, also for it to be  funny . I mean, it’s JUST A SCREEN. It’s almost farcical that a screen eats up so much time when there’s so much to be done. There has to be comedy in this – slapping my own hand when I reach for my phone, tossing it across the room when I realize I’m scrolling, meeting up in real life with long lost friends I’ve only been in a like/double tap/random comment status with for years… Insert a wild montage of you getting all-the-things done with all this free time that you found…   Here’s what really happened :  You figure out  you use your phone when you’re nervous ...

 I  often find myself landing on the refrain  “… but, I have no time !”  We are in a season where everything feels rushed ( LM has 5+ afterschool activities and 7 recitals over the next 8 weekends,  work is in peak period ridiculousness, my garden and the yard and the house….)   – BUT, I also see myself distracting myself from everything with   my stupid smartphone .   Having been through a tumultuous handful of years, I am all for getting through the worser times with the coping skills that cause the least harm; however, doomscrolling has become baked into my day to day and contributes to this rushed and desperate state I often find myself in.   As someone who walks through their life with anxiety, the  constant scroll  of social media, newsletters, and articles just feeds into the pace at which  my thoughts swirl . It’s also impacted my attention span: I don’t just doomscroll –  I watch tv AND doomscroll  (and have ...

 possibilities for a new year twenty- three hopes for 2023  As a disclaimer (preclaimer?), I have a bumpy history with goals. I love the idea of working towards things and checking things off and accomplishing things; however, when focusing on me as a person, I’m that pattern of always dropping to the bottom of (or clear off) my own list. I have threads of hope for this year though, so here’s a list of doable things I’d like to do for myself this year… 1 find some hobbies . I’ve lost track of all my interests after a few years of constant caretaking. Here’s to books and biking and baking and other things that aren’t as alliterative! 2 hang stuff in the house. My guy loves minimalist bare walls; I love pictures and art and memories . This is the year we find a middle ground.  3 cut my phone screen time by 50%. I distract myself and waste so much time doomscrolling. I need to get a handle on it. This one feels the most aspirational, tbh, but it’s time to try.  4 ...