not necessarily in this order

It’s hard to write when the world is on fire. My heart and my head are so heavy. Besides the general * gestures at everything *, January has been a month of churn and change here. So, I thought I’d share a new path I’m wandering down and then regroup and reframe for February. (I saw some FIGgy news headed that way…) So, what’s changing? Who’s changing? School started (for me) What’s that? It both feels so random and so right. As work became more and more uncertain and taxing and miserable last year, I started doing some thinking about my future. I’m almost 50, my child will be graduating in 5 years, and I’m in a moment of figuring out who I am outside of my job and caretaking and being injured…  I seem to be right in the right place to navigate a personal pivot, a third act with agency and purpose.  When I was a child, I wanted to be a librarian. The safety and possibilities of our small town library helped build me into the reader and the mom and the human that I am. When I ...

 It’s one of those transitional years for me: Lil Momma turns 13 this summer, my work has drastically changed and I’m no longer seeing staying as a given, and I’m building back from these injuries and stress and sadness. This list is more to keep my head in the game (some new games, actually) and to remember to be present in these moments - and maybe even have some fun. Who knows? Stranger things have happened… I’ll elaborate more when I check in about them here and there, but there’s the whole list as a start. 1 do my PT exercises multiple times a week 2 clean my office and set up my desk 3 give myself time to enjoy school 4 send 12 cards 5 do my own estate planning  6 that vacation I owe LM  7 take a long walk in the woods 8 read 100 books 9 go see a movie 10 hang pictures  12 listen to more music  13 eat dinner at the table  14 bake 10 loaves of bread 15 see people more 16 take a solo trip  17 dip my toes in the ocean  18 play more board games ...

As I mentioned at the beginning of November, I found myself dangerously close to having read 100 books this year with 2 months to go. Now, I love an arbitrary, no stakes goal and have been steadily working my way through my library holds to see if I can make it. I was slowed down by a couple behemoth entries in a series I feel I must complete, so I find myself this December 1 with 15 books to go. With 2 recital weekends being balanced off by a handful of vacation days (and school vacation), it really is going to be a race to the finish! Note, I accidentally posted these in the reverse order that I read them and will rectify that in future Recent Reads !   The Vanishing Box  by Elly Griffiths:  4 /5  ⭐  I really enjoyed this entry to  The Magic Men  series. Set around the holidays, the mystery itself was the right amount of twisty and it was great to see the main characters grow and evolve. I may have rated this a little high based on how I feel like t...

  One : Poor Maysie got spayed and had her dew claws removed last week. The weekend was sad and hard when she wasn’t feeling well, but we are glad the hardest part is over and she’s on the mend. She’s doing ok physically but her energy came back after 36 hours and it’s all we can do to keep her quiet. She has the cone through next Tuesday, so here’s hoping we can keep her healing and avoid too intense of cone bruises on our bodies, haha! Two : Thanksgiving is a whole thing because Maysie is tall enough to get her head on the table and counters (cone and all), but I think we have a plan to manage. I’m trying to make it easy on myself and baking off homemade Italian rolls on Wednesday instead of trying to time their rise and bake with a turkey on Thursday. We are also baking Lil Momma’s request of Salted Caramel Chocolate Cookies and the Mr’s “pumpkin pie from the can” on Wednesday, too, to simplify what has to happen on the day itself.  Three : I have a MRI on my back and hip...

This is a new thing I’m trying to take things less seriously. One minute to jot down an idea, an intention, a smile in this space - nothing more and nothing less.  If I had more than a minute to write this, I’d talk about how personal goals have fallen by the wayside of caretaking and estate management and personal time functional freeze in these last few years or so. Or, about my relationship to reading and how it makes me feel like me even when I haven’t read as much in my life. Or about how much I am grateful to have books and the library and reading back in my life in this moment.   But I don’t. So, I won’t, haha!   What I will say is that I found myself at the end of October dangerously close to having read 100 books this year with 76 done. (Don’t ask me how many DNFs. Oof. So many recently, too. SIGH!)   Now, I don’t usually read to a number. Honestly, I just feel lucky to be finding pockets of time for myself to read at all vs. just freezing or doomscrolling o...

What a month, oof. Between PT not progressing as fast as I’d like, the Mr dealing with some medical meh (but on the mend!), Lil Momma’s tween angst and schedule and sass, work being work, and trying to clean out a house 90 minutes away from my house, these goals may not have been top of mind (or on my mind) as much as I would’ve  hoped… However, January is always a month I kind of plod through so I’m proud of my plodding and am ready for a fresh February start!  1 go on a family vacation somewhere new   -Plans are in the works! 2 get through estate planning  3 redo my office 4 read 100 books  -I’m at 5/100 5 enter 3 writing competitions  6 reach out to 3 friends I haven’t lately 7 hang pictures on our walls  8 stretch most days  -I’m probably at 2x a week  9 cut phone screen time by 50%  -I’m down 30% 10 ride 800 miles (bike, spin, doesn’t matter)  -I’m at 14.6/800 11 bake 5 new recipes 12 monthly dates with the Mr  -We finally...

To use one of Lil Momma’s newly favorite words, I’m so confuzzled by goals. I love lists. I love crossing things off lists. I love doing things. I love ideas and hopes and dreams. However, I’ve also had a lot of life pull focus these last few years - as life does - which has been a bit demotivating in terms of personal goals. That being said, I have had some recent reflections that remind me that working on the balance between what I need to feel like myself and take care of myself with all of this other “stuff” is valid.  In that spirit, I leaned into the chaos listmaker I am in my heart of hearts and pulled together this 25 hopes for myself for 2025. Some are small and silly, others sizable and specific - but, most importantly, all are doable: 1 go on a family vacation somewhere new   2 get through estate planning 3 redo my office 4 read 100 books 5 enter 3 writing competitions  6 reach out to 3 friends I haven’t lately 7 hang pictures on our walls  8 stretch most ...