not necessarily in this order

Our Thanksgiving was the quiet and weird one we figured it would be. Lil Momma asked for a pajama day and we leaned into that vibe:    Don’t want to start cooking until after we watch the parade?  Sure!   Having trouble timing the rolls with the turkey being done?  Rolls are the appetizer course!   Apple dessert not made yet?  Dessert will be dinner!   I had missed my usual “carbs are the priority” test bake weekend, so all of the baking was an “on the day” risk – but, we were ready for it!   LM had asked for “ homemade Bertucci’s rolls to dip in olive oil with parmesan ” as her one meal request. Now, I have made dinner rolls, but I haven’t made Italian ones before. I found  this recipe  and did my best to time it out. Making the “biga” 12-24 hours ahead went well (don’t ask me about the 2 forgotten bigas from the tests that never happened, haha, but please don’t), but I ran into some trouble with not knowing how long the first and second proves would be and timing those around cooking

Obviously, it's been an emotional few weeks, but life peeked in, as it does, and we keep going, as we do. A few memorable moments from recent times: One  the casting came out for LM’s spring musical theater class musical,  Matilda Jr.  a few weeks ago. The owner (who was my teacher when I was a child), had pulled both LM and I aside the week before and said what a great audition she had, which made us both feel a glow because LM had worked so hard in preparation. Wildly, she did not get either role she read for - but, she did get one of the leads! She’ll be the villain, headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. She had a moment of sadness (“ But I’m not a mean person! Do they think I’m mean?! ”), but came into excitement when she realized that she’d have 2 songs and a ton of lines. This will be a journey, haha .  Two  the cast came off! (check out its final Tarbies trip below). We had a countdown of days going, but the Friday popped up when we had to head back to the orthopedic specialist. L

First off, this is a sad one. If you're not in a place for a sad one, please skip and protect your peace. I'll get back to other topics soon. It's hard to talk about the last week, but it's also hard to talk about the last month or six months or 4 years. Balancing being an only child caretaker for my sweet mom with being a mom and a worker and a partner and a person has often felt impossible and that the things I was letting drop or fall to the side very much outnumbered the things I was keeping going or even doing well (or well-enough to get by).  Dementia is a cruel disease and we have watched my mother disappear in bits and pieces, losing her independence, her memories, and control. I am incredibly grateful that my daughter had a few years of magic with her beloved Nana, but also heartbroken that LM had to watch this deterioration happen. I always tell her that "fair" is a social construct, but she is 100% valid in saying that this just isn't fair. Sinc

  Things went downhill for my poor mom last week; a fall put her back in the hospital and then COVID came into play on her already fragile system. It’s been a weekend of hard decisions, more phone conversations than I usually make in a month (so many of her friends only have landlines), and bouncing between holding her hand while I can and coming home to help Lil Momma navigate this transition.  Sitting on my deck and looking at the trees and leaves and stars, I know this is just a moment, a season, and one you have to get through to get through.  Comments and posts may be quiet for a bit - but, having the plethora of #NaBloPoMo posts has been a gift in the quiet moments. I’m out here reading and grateful for the reads.  Stay well and talk soon ❤️

  This week is not weeking that way I had hoped to week, but I’m seeing this as a way to get some of the noise out of my head!   One  I don’t love cake. There. I said it.  I DON’T LOVE CAKE ! It’s too sweet and frosting is mushy and there’s nothing to crunch on. Please don’t tell Lil Momma.   Two  I love a  walk in the cold, crisp air . It’s bracing and I need to be braced sometimes! It takes my breath away and opens my eyes and makes me feel so present. Three  The rebellious joy I get from  DNF-ing books that aren’t serving me  is one of the highlights of my year. Not forcing myself to finish (after a lifetime of trudging through books just to finish them) has reignited my love of reading.   Four  Sometimes when I’m running errands, I  buy myself a little snack and sit in my car in the parking lot and read blogs and listen to my favorite songs  and those are some of the times I feel most like myself.   Five  In high school, we used to go to a diner and I would get  tea (unlimited refi

  Supporting my #NaBloPoMo friends! We made it through a Thursday without a fractured bone or an urgent care sick visit, so already a better Thursday than the last 2! Lil Momma has 15 days left in the wrist cast. As expected,  she’s adapted well and navigated the first half like a rockstar. Many friends have signed it - gold and silver Sharpies for the win! - and she draws little pictures on it in her downtime. Thus far, she’s survived her Matilda Jr. audition, multiple quizzes and tests, dance classes, Halloween, and multiple rainy days and we have high hopes for the latter half.  In the bummers column, showering is a family event as she doesn’t have the arm strength to hold it up for the time and we don’t trust the plastic wrap + plastic bag we have going in. I have to do her hair every day and our bicker about her love of  “founding father” styles ponytail vs. the high on the head, bouncy ones I tend to go for is getting intense. She misses recess and gym. I miss her winter coat fit

After being an avid blog reader for years, what finally gave me the boost to start this wildly random space was last year’s #NaBloPoMo ( National Blog Posting Month  - see San’s amazing write up  here ). I  love the heartfelt posts, the random posts, the struggling for topics posts… November isn’t always the easiest month but having the content helps keep me content and I’m awed by the creativity and consistency these writers display day after day. Slowly, I  dared to start commenting after years and years as a lurker and then, mid-December, I went for it and started posting myself here.  For a year where I hoped to be steady , I’ve had more than a few wobbles. I know this isn’t my year to commit to the finish line, but I hope to comment as much as I can and write here when I can - consider it practice for next year? (possibly) (no promises)  Here’s nighttime Harold just for fun!