not necessarily in this order

It’s a little less than a week until my foot/ankle surgery. I feel like I’ve lost the thread between all my lists and what needs to be done before this happens and what is feasible to get done before all this happens. Between trying to land cleaning out my aunt’s house that’s 90 minutes away  and getting it on the market by the end of the month - and doing her taxes - and getting all of LM’s spring and summer clothes and dance competition stuff prepared and this wild season at work with everything going on and with everything literally going on all the time, I feel like I’m all over the place (as is this too apt run on sentence, haha). Yard statues have been rescued! Here are some hot takes on where I’m at:   Pros : I have a recliner to sleep/recover in  I have a wedge pillow to elevate my foot (and it fits on said recliner!) I have a knee scooter (with a bell) (and a personalized license plate haha) I got my aunt’s taxes done on time  I’ll have time to go back in ev...

We really did have a great time in NH. We did everything on our list: We saw waterfalls! We went on rides! We went out to breakfast! But, as a lot of things do right now, the whole thing felt so shaky and precarious. We are in one of those weird seasons where everything feels so wrought with meaning because it’s all the firsts – our first NH vacation where we didn’t have to wait for a call about my mom or have me on the phone with an ER or nurse. It puts a weird “supposed to” energy on things because we no longer have this elephant in the room, but we also are still finding our balance in this next part of life. So, when the boarding place called to say Bella might have a UTI but they weren’t worried about it, it was like muscle memory to start worrying.    <<this part isn’t too graphic, but it just talks about pet ick a bit, so SKIP THIS NEXT PARAGRAGH if you need to, but know Bella was sicker than a “don’t worry about it”, sigh.    A few months ago, Bella had...

  I should be giving an update on my “ 23 things I want to do in 2023 ” or my hike prep or recital season… but, instead I’m writing about how I’m both giving myself grace and refocusing some energies since it seems  this year (so far) has been more about surviving instead of thriving . I did a time tracking exercise for a couple weeks in June and I learned that while I am very good at prioritizing my family and taking care of my mother and doing my job, I  am very bad at holding time for me  to take care of myself, or do things for myself, or just sit with myself.  It’s not a surprise that I feel really burnt out – no,  I feel wrung out  - which is not how I want to move through this life or role model being a complex and messy and curious person for my daughter. This picture of Lil Momma’s tap shoe that broke the night before the recital seems quite apropos for some reason? So, on this first of the month and kickoff to the second half of the year, I a...

  1 this week was oof. Just hard and awful and messy and sad. My poor mom was back at the hospital and was moved to a rehab - not our worst loop with this, but still disruptive and a bummer. Worse was that one  of the younger students at Lil Momma’s school passed away at the start of the week and it’s been emotional and devastating and  still the last week of school with all the events and moments and things to do.  I’m  more than a little thrown - but, incredibly grateful for my little family and this life and each day (even the messy ones) 2 there’s no segue - not even going to try. I had one of those weeks at work where I literally messed up everything. I was covering for my boss and trying to be me and it was almost an out of body experience as I kept making mistakes.  What do a typo in an email I’d usually catch and accidentally telling an exec they were sabotaging my forum in front of 300 people have in common?  Well they’re two th...

aka anything & everything & nothing  We are going on our first family vacation in FOUR YEARS tomorrow and I’ve spent the last week overwhelmed and over it - and, in a bit of a pit that this is how I am about something that’s meant to be fun, sigh.  This is not the role modeling I want to do for Lil Momma! She and I have been on a number of “girls only” adventures the last few years which have only gotten more enjoyable as she’s gotten a bit older . Gone are the years where she would only eat fast food, Olive Garden, and Dunkin Donuts or fall apart 5-minutes into a museum or aquarium or walk. She’s all curiosity and up for new and different, which I love, love, love… But, the difference with this trip is that it’s not her and I exploring a new city - we are staying with my guy’s sister and her fiancé * I’m the epitome of an only child without much extended family - my dream was to stay in a hotel and have a place to get away from everyone’s haha! We’ve stayed with her...