Day 17 (ankle/foot recovery)

 Hello! It's been a minute...

I had all these expectations for what my recovery would be like:

I will read all the books!

I will watch all the shows!

I will write all the letters!

I will take up art as a hobby!

I will be going out of my head to get back to work!

That wasn't my journey - and that's ok! It's been a wild trip so far and I'm figuring out how to navigate this moment and what happens next with grace and an open mind.

Day 0 (surgery day): 

My surgery was outpatient so I was a bit loopy when the Mr. picked me up. I had this heavy and huge splint on that went up to just below my knee - we were shocked! It wasn't a full cast - the front was open on my shin - but it was so heavy and impacted my balance, which made my first forays into non-weight-bearing (NWB) a trip (in more ways than one, haha!)...

I had been given crutches, but they were not much help once we arrived home and I had to get up 4 stairs (SO DAUNTING) to get into the house. My poor dyslexic and drugged brain was a mess and I ended up laying on the deck at one point just shaking my fist at the sky. But, we got me into the house and into my new chair! However, we figured out that my leg was too tender for my rocking knee scooter, so I was stuck with the crutches.

I will have more to say about crutches someday, but what I will say in this moment is that had I know I would be dependent on them, I would have worked on arm and core strength SO MUCH MORE! And, honestly, PISTOL SQUATS! 80% of what I do right now depends on my poor left leg being a rock star.

Week 1:

That first week was a bit rough and is a bit blurry. I had tried to refuse the prescription painkillers but had been cautioned not to. I was ok with the meds making me slow-thinking (I couldn't watch a complex show or read a book), but they ended up making me feel like I was having temperature fluctuations (the number of times I made the poor Mr take my temp) and that my skin was peeling off. Sleep became an issue which made my poor brain worse and we ended up taking me off the med by Day 3. It took a couple of days for them to get out of my system, but I felt so much better when they were gone.

I spent all of my time in my recliner with my foot elevated as close to above my heart as my poor tight lower back could take. Luckily, I was able to sleep on my back and I used a great sleeping mask from Manta Sleep which helped the Mr watch his YouTube darts from the couch next to me.

Lil Momma was in school this week, so there were early morning wake ups, stress about leaving me alone, etc. But we made it through. I had some "hot spots" of soreness on the outside of my ankle (expected) and the bottom of my heel (unexpected), but overall the pain was manageable and I got better on the crutches and living recliner life every day.

Week 2:

School vacation week! We got so much sleep, which was amazing, but I was still snoozy during the days when the Mr. and LM went on day trips to keep vacation fun. We tried to wash my hair in the sink a few times, but the first time the Mr way over conditioned me and the second time I did it myself but gave myself a headache. It's hard to kneel and have your head in the sink and scrub, I've found.

I did adventure out to LM's solo dance rehearsals and it was nice to use the knee scooter now that my leg was less tender. But the effort it took to get in and out of the house and then get in and out of the car and the building, etc. was a little overwhelming. I didn't expect to feel so debilitated. 

My brain came back a bit with all the sleep and I was able to read quite a bit which was great. However, I began to get really anxious about going back to work the following week because my energy was just not there. I started making plans for lunch hour naps and how bad I'd look on my video calls which began a cycle of me stressing out about this around bedtime and then doomscrolling my way until the early hours, which took quite an impact on my mood, sigh.

Week 3 (this week):

My follow-up with the orthopedic surgeon was on Tuesday. The Mr and I were shocked when one of the assistants cut off my cast/splint in the middle of the waiting room, haha, but it was great to see my foot was not hugely deformed. I did have stitches in more places than I expected (including my heel!) but everything looked to be heeling well.

Honestly, after being SO CAREFUL about my foot for 2 weeks, I was shocked at how lackadaisical they seemed to be at the office, haha! "Put your foot flat on the x-ray machine..." "Just sit in this chair..." all seemed so different from my ELEVATE ALL THE TIME couple of weeks.

We were also shocked when we saw the x-ray they did - there is so much metal in my foot! A bolt in my heel, a plate with 5 pins in my first metatarsal. How BIG all of this was kind of hit me when I saw it and all I could think of was how tired I was. I ended up talking to the surgeon about my exhaustion and she recommended I take another week or two off work, which threw me for a loop but ultimately felt right.

I left there with a walking boot that I can't walk in (NWB for 4 more weeks) and have been enjoying the freedom of having my foot "free" for periods of time. I also "tricep dipped" my way up the stairs on my bottom and took a shower which was LIFE CHANGING and exhausting.

Sleep is a huge factor for me, but as I get more rest, I find having hope for working next week.

What's next?

Well, my aunt's house went on the market yesterday (that is a whole story in and of itself), so I'm hoping to get some offers over the weekend. And, LM's first dance competition of the year is this weekend. It's at a hotel (thankfully) so we are dragging me and the knee scooter up with her on Friday and seeing if I can handle getting in and out of the performance room without assistance. I'm nervous (both for myself handling this and for her FIRST COMPETITION SOLO!?!?!) but I know I have a room to crash in if I need a nap and so many friendly moms to help me out off I need to take a break.

I head back to the surgeon right after Memorial Day and hopefully get cleared for PT and weight bearing and all of that.

So, that is my recap/catch up. Hopefully I'll be back next week with dance comp stories and stronger muscles from all this crutching, squatting, and dipping my way around, haha!

If you made it this far (oof, what a long post!), what little thing has made you smile recently? For me, it's been library holds, well-timed pieces of chocolate, and random texts from friends.