October Hopes

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Rollercoaster of a week (“it’s time for long(?) term hospice” <insert so many sad phone calls> “wait – it’s possibly been a misdiagnosis for the last 10+ years; not time for hospice and go find all new doctors to figure this out even if it might not change anything” <insert so many awkward phone calls>). 

 

It’s been a lot of phone calls and a lot of feelings and now more phone calls and more feelings haha sigh…

 

I was going to try and incorporate some of my lessons from Atomic Habits into this month (I even bought a habit tracker and fun pens!) (FUN PENS!!), but that all feels like a bit much for the moments I’m in. SO, instead I have a few small focuses for myself.  

 

3 Things I’m Doing for Myself in October

 

Walks. I know, so simple. But it’s been hard the past few months to do formal work outs and it’s been even harder to just go for a walk every day and take some time to get out (and out of my head!)…. So, I’m trying to get outside every day for a walk – if possible – or, even to just get on the treadmill for a bit and Hot Ones walk for a bit.



 

Reach out to friends. I tend to hermit in times like this; but Lil Momma is a walking narrator so a lot of our friend group know about how bumpy the past few weeks have been (and all her teachers) (and the school cafeteria workers) (and the woman running the bakery counter at our local grocery store) – and, THAT IS OK! I was raised not to talk about any sort of problems (that 1980’s repression haha!), but it is so much easier to just be where I’m at. Over the summer, I had made an end of September day date with my best friend from college who lives in the western part of my state but I haven’t seen in 3 years and, even though things are wild, I kept it and took a long car ride out to her this weekend. We had the best catch up / vent / ramble of a visit, and I have been appreciating that renewed connection and all our other friends she reconnected me with. Same with my mom’s goddaughter and her brother; I haven’t talked to them in over a decade, but we’ve been texting away and it’s just so nice to have people to navigate this with. A slightly silly realization, but it’s ok to depend on your people and let them in. A bonus is the prime meme and joke content coming my way – very much part of my Instagram friend language ❤

 

Small Fall Fun. Life things tend to happen to my little family in the fall, but I will not let that stop me from loving this season! Two feelings can exist at once and all that. I love watching the leaves turn. I love a warm apple drink. I love cinnamony desserts and soups and The Great British Bake Off. I love putting on hoodies and having breakfast with Lil Momma on the deck and ending the day with a fire pit playing the Wordle and the NYT Games with Luke. The little things are the big things and I’m grateful for them on the daily.

 

Do you have a favorite small fall fun in your life? Are you a pumpkin spice person? (I’ve never tried it and now I feel like it’s too hyped for me to even go there HAHA!) 

Comments

  1. ElisabethOctober 4, 2023 at 12:50 PM

    Oh my goodness. THIS!! "but it’s ok to depend on your people and let them in" - amen. This is so true and something I'm really trying to let myself feel in the core of my being. I have so many wonderful people and I need them right now - and they're there for me! Let them in, Elisabeth!!!

    And meme's are one of my love languages I think. A few weeks ago, during a particularly stressful time, my best friend asked what she can do. I said: "Send me a meme every day!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ElisabethOctober 4, 2023 at 6:53 PM

      Also, I thought I had written about the many challenges you're facing. I'm so sorry you're on this awful rollercoaster. I'm glad you can find bright moments in the tough times, but I'm sure you're exhausted both physically and mentally from it all.

      Like Jenny mentions below, hospice can be an incredible support and truly restorative environment for all parties involved. But of course all of these decisions come with so many layers of complication and considerations. I'm wishing you comfort and peace and clarity about next steps. Sending hugs. Wish I could take you out for coffee so we could chat <3

      Delete
    2. Lindsay42October 6, 2023 at 11:39 AM

      Oh, Elisabeth, I wished the same thing when I read about some of your challenges, too. I feel like we would have such great memes to share and coffee conversations! Thank you so very much. I'm doing my best to be where I'm at (as well as remember that I need to take care of me - and let others take care of me! - alongside everyone else) <3

      Delete
  2. JennyOctober 4, 2023 at 4:41 PM

    For what it's worth, both my parents were in hospice at the end and my only regret is that I didn't get them in earlier. So if you do end up going the long-term hospice route, it's not really a bad thing. It can last for quite a while, and the level of care is phenomenal. Anyway... good luck with this tough situation.
    Yes to pumpkin spice! I don't drink the lattes or any of the fancy drinks, but I make plenty of my own pumpkin treats at home. I have to remind myself that apple is a fall flavor too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Diane C.October 7, 2023 at 8:47 PM

    That cycle of phone calls and feelings sounds so brutal! I'm so sorry to hear about the rough time.
    I always forget how much seeing friends can fill my cup!. I have one friend whom I *always* feel better after we spend time together, yet sometimes it's hard to make scheduling time with her a priority.
    Yes to hoodies! Is there anything cozier as one moves about one's day?

    ReplyDelete

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