a mother’s afternoon thoughts
Thanks to everyone for their kind words about Little Mama’s school start bumps. I kept waiting to write this week thinking things would get resolved, but they just kept going on (and on). They even threatened to randomly select kids from her team to move if they didn’t get enough volunteers (oof). She left her Elf the musical Jr. audition convinced she’d never get in because she isn’t one of the competition team kids. All of her dance and musical theater and voice classes started. My work drama is about to come to a head next week. Things just keep happening
Then, this afternoon, my phone blew up with texts because there was a shelter in place at the high school across the street from LM’s middle school. There was a threat of a fight with a weapon; luckily no one was hurt. I’d say nothing happened, but those kids went through that experience and so did their parents and they’ll carry that weight of knowing what could have been, especially after what happened last week down South.
Being a person in this world with a constant news cycle, access to so much information, and this need to keep up with it all even when “it all” is atrocious and terrifying is a lot. Adding sending my child off to school every day with the hope that nothing happens to her, that the odds be in our favor, is a really wild moment of faith in the universe for me. But I also know how lucky I am to have these worries instead of grief.
So, the update is my girl got into the Elf Jr. ensemble after an emotional 48-hour wait for the cast list. She didn’t get moved teams again, which is great, and here’s hoping they update the systems in the coming days. I was going to end this with: “Now, if I could get her to go to bed without a fight, I might be able to get some real sleep myself!”
But, it’s really that my girl got picked up from school today having no idea that the high school was under a shelter in place and I got to hug her immediately when she walked in the door. We already fought over longitude and latitude homework and I’m so scared of what she’ll do tonight at bedtime because the past 3 weeks’ worth of them have been 80% awful and I also don’t care because I get to put her to bed and know she’s here and safe.
Here’s to happier days and better rest for all of us ❤
Oh Lindsay, that is so scary. As someone who works in a high school, the happenings in schools are so close to my heart. We do the drills all the time and I know my kids do them in pre-school and 1st grade. It's insane that we have to train our kids about lock downs but it's the reality. I did not watch a lot about the Georgia shooting for the reason that it may be too close to home (not geographically but theoretically). Why is LM not sleeping? Anxiety? Sleeplessness? L goes through that sometimes so I can relate.
ReplyDeleteYes, something like that really puts everything else in perspective. Things go along just fine most of the time- then there are those moments where you're confronted with a possible terrifying reality. But... I'm glad all is well, glad LM got into the show and glad she didn't get moved around in school. I hope the bedtime situation settles down soon! You all need your sleep.
ReplyDeleteOh, Lindsay, how terrifying that must have been. I'm so sorry that you had that on your plate in addition to everything else (*waving hands wildly, as one does*). It's reality, for sure, but it doesn't have to be a reality that we like, or that we should accept. I am so glad LM was okay, and that the threat was resolved. <3
ReplyDeleteThe "everything else" sounds like a LOT of everything else. Do you think LM is sleep-deprived? You all are super-busy, and with the stress of middle school, and the inconsistency and ups and downs of the start of the year (seriously, they need to get their...stuff...together), I would have been a major stressball. Hugs to you both. <3
I can only imagine how difficult it is to hear about another school shooting with a kid in school. It's such a scary reality we live in, ugh. I'm glad LM didn't have to worry about a lockdown or any of that. Hopefully bedtime starts going better. Is she having some anxiety at nighttime that's leading to it being tough?
ReplyDeleteUff. I cannot imagine it's fun to be a parent at this day and age. So so scary and terrifying to have these "threats" hanging over your heads.
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