MAYbe less scrolling is the answer
I often find myself landing on the refrain “…but, I have no time!” We are in a season where everything feels rushed (LM has 5+ afterschool activities and 7 recitals over the next 8 weekends, work is in peak period ridiculousness, my garden and the yard and the house….) – BUT, I also see myself distracting myself from everything with my stupid smartphone.
Having been through a tumultuous handful of years, I am all for getting through the worser times with the coping skills that cause the least harm; however, doomscrolling has become baked into my day to day and contributes to this rushed and desperate state I often find myself in.
As someone who walks through their life with anxiety, the constant scroll of social media, newsletters, and articles just feeds into the pace at which my thoughts swirl. It’s also impacted my attention span: I don’t just doomscroll – I watch tv AND doomscroll (and have a book in my lap) (and a magazine next to me). No wonder I feel like I can’t have a straight thought!
Now that it’s May, I have some time-sensitive things to do: a long-for-me August hike I’m training for (more on that later this week!), spring house goals, my garden to get going, recital organization, etc. It feels like the perfect time to try and make some inroads on my screentime – I literally have better things to do!
So, a small challenge for what I hope will be a merry month of May!
- Drop my screentime and pickups by 40% (oof that feels aggressive). I’m too ashamed to share my actual screentime and pickup amounts on this side of the challenge, so the plan is to share % of change (and not just this month – over the next few; the point of the challenge isn’t to have a better May, it’s to build better habits going forward).
- Do one thing at a time (when I can). All the things all the time is altogether exhausting. If Luke and I are watching a show, watch the show. If I want to read my book, read my book. I’m hoping to build back some focus and find myself being more present in the thing that is the thing that I’m doing. (Exceptions: reading at breakfast and lunch, walking with podcasts, those kind of things.)
- Social media checks for only 30 min a day. This is what stopped my original plan of just deleting all the apps off my phone besides email, work stuff, and the mini-crossword. The main way I talk to and connect with my college friends is through DMs and posts and Luke reminded me that those connections are why I SHOULD be checking (i.e. don’t ghost my people)
How do you keep a healthy relationship with scrolling? Do you look at your screentime?
Ha - you know this is front of my mind. I generally have great practices in place, but I still feel like I need a reset every few months. Charging my phone NOT by my bed already feels...lifechanging. I know that's a bit melodramatic. But yesterday (or Saturday?) I woke up and just stayed in bed letting my mind wander for over 30 minutes. And it was lovely. Two weeks ago, I would have spent that 30 minutes (probably another 30) in bed scrolling. I'd tell myself it was relaxing but, really, it wasn't. I can 100% feel the difference in my mood the last few weeks, just with that relatively subtle change.
ReplyDeleteI think it's interesting you mention having this scrolling "baked into my day to day" - this is SO true. We're programmed to scroll while we wait, for example, which - especially as a parent with youngish kids, happens a lot. I wait while they get their PJs on before bed. I wait while they're at extracurriculars etc. And my default was almost always to scroll!
Even just 90% of one work day in, I am shook at how often I reach for my phone (way too often) and why (uncomfortable on a non-video call, not liking what I'm writing, overthinking). It really is a crutch in so many ways - and one I hope not to need as much sooner rather than later. You said it so well: I think I tricked myself into thinking it's relaxing when it isn't; it's just busy and distracting...
DeleteI think my own smartphone use is getting out of control. I mostly keep my phone on the second floor of the house when I am on the first so that I can concentrate on work and family and not be distracted by the phone. But when I need my phone for work (double factor authentication, mostly), it comes downstairs with me and I find myself unable to tear myself away. Hm. I'll have to brainstorm ways to deal with this.
ReplyDeleteOh that is so smart! I think I got hooked between needing it to log into work from home for authentication (so it's always with me) and then needing it for all the emergency phone calls I've gotten over the last few years. But my watch can alert me to a call and the phone could stay in another room like yours - when I'm working and when I'm trying to hang with my people. It's such an easy time suck and there's always something to look up or dive into.
DeleteI have a deeply unhealthy relationship with scrolling. It's something that I am trying to figure out how to address. I think my plan is to purposefully tie it to something, so I have times where I am permitted to scroll. And then... try to leave my phone out of reach during the rest of the day??? I have yet to implement this plan, so we'll see how it goes!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck! It sounds so simple, right? This is going to be such a weird month as I figure this out haha!
DeleteThat's a good plan to get out of those scrolling/busy habits!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to doing a lot of things at the same time. I got into the habit when I was studying years ago. Lately I've realised that doing certain things while watching TV doesn't work and there's no point. Also I got into some stress mode before our trip to Spain and then realised I have to switch off work in the evenings. I actually like having something in my hands while watching a film, but now I limit it to things like photo editing, testing web design stuff, or Illustrator practice - they don't require constant focus and are fun and relaxing. But I need to check myself constantly so that I don't try to do too much.
I've lost interest in social media and have stopped the scrolling quite a lot. Honestly I can't see why people do it anymore! Social media apps have deteriorated so much and the algorithms mostly don't let you see the people you follow anyway so I don't think scrolling adds anything enjoyable anymore. I'm close to deleting my instagram account because of what the app has become (it's just another TikTok), and Twitter is utterly boring. And I definitely don't use the phone for scrolling! So annoying with that small screen! Maybe I'm getting old, lol.
Well, if you're old, so am I! I don't even like what I'm scrolling, nor am I super interested in seeing strangers - but, it keeps my mind occupied and my eyes busy which apparently fulfills a need for me (or gives me excuses for not doing what I am supposed to be doing, haha)! I totally get wanting something in your hands while you watch a film or something; I am a total fidgeter, but with some nerve stuff in my hands from when I pinched my radial nerve, I had to stop with my former things like cross stitching and macramé and all that...
DeleteI am a huge fan of mono-tasking. I find when I do too many things at once, I am completely scattered and nothing gets done! I also have had to reestablish boundaries with myself and my phone. I usually leave it in a charging station in another room - I wear airpods so I can still listen to music/ podcasts while I go about my day, but I'm not constantly checking things. Also, in 2022 I stopped really scrolling the news, which helped immensely. I have deleted my twitter account and I try to keep my social media use less than 30 minutes as well. I do check in with friends that way so I like to see what they are up to, but as the commenter above says, the algorithm has changed and I don't actually see what they are up to! Good luck - there are so many things to do in a day, and I agree with you that we need to set boundaries with those phones!
ReplyDeleteGetting down to 30 minutes is my dream! I feel like I spend so much time searching for my people on feeds that it feeds just mindlessly scrolling, sigh.
DeleteI think it's almost impossible to strike a balance. I rarely go on Instagram or Facebook these days- but then I miss out on a lot of what's going on. When I do go on to check a specific thing, like if I've heard someone posted something I really want to see, I usually get sucked down a rabbit hole and end up wasting a ton of time. Same with the news- I rarely look at any news articles, but then I feel like I don't know what's going on in the world. When I want to read about something specific, once again I get sucked into an article, people's comments about the article, political views... and I end up feeling like I wasted my time. For me it seems like it's all or nothing, and there are problems with both approaches. I'll be interested to see how this challenge goes for you!
ReplyDeleteAll or nothing is right, Jenny! It’ll be so interesting to see how my feelings change as I get some space from all the “noise”…
DeleteI am terrible. I read the paper on the phone, so it's constantly in my hand as I do other things (there's an audio feature that lets it 'read' me stories - multitasking at its worst!). So I'm in the group that does NOT want to know BUT probably should. ;) I will be interested to see how you do!
ReplyDeleteI relate to this, Lindsay and I am working on strategies to not feel "distracted" (as I often do). I am a work in progress to say the least. Part of it is the feeling that I want to "maximize" my time. If I focus on just one thing, I sometimes feel later that I should have done something else instead.... do you know what I mean? So being present for the thing you decide to do and then be content with that decision is a struggle for me.
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